Here's a taste of April Fool's Day at an elementary school:
"There's a spider on your head!"
"Really? Where? Get it off! AHHHH!"
"April Fools!" dissolving into riotous laughter.
I heard this one about 10 times today and believe it or not, it only got funnier.
Showing posts with label school stories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school stories. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Haircut Woes
About a month ago I got about 12 inches cut off my hair. I love the rejuvenating feeling of being free from my long locks. To add even more good feelings, I donated my ponytail to Locks of Love. They make hair pieces for kids who have lost all of their hair due to illness or disease.
Me and my nephew at Christmas
Just after the haircut
The change was pretty dramatic and some of the kids I work with had a hard time adjusting to my new look, especially the boys. Here are just a few of the many comments that I got from the boys I work with:
Shocked, "Mrs. Black, why did you cut your hair!?"
"Mrs. Black! When I saw you, I thought you were a boy!"
"Why would you do that?!"
"Mrs. Black why did you cut your hair?"
me -"I like it this way."
"Man, you must be on crack!"
"Mrs. Black, you look like a boy now!"
me sarcastically - "Thank you."
"Why do you think that's a compliment?"
me - "I'm trying not to respond rudely."
(This boy had a particularly hard time and we had this conversation every day for a week.)
These comments have gradually subsided and thankfully, I don't base my self-confidence on the opinions of 8 year-olds.
Me and my nephew at Christmas
Just after the haircutThe change was pretty dramatic and some of the kids I work with had a hard time adjusting to my new look, especially the boys. Here are just a few of the many comments that I got from the boys I work with:
Shocked, "Mrs. Black, why did you cut your hair!?"
"Mrs. Black! When I saw you, I thought you were a boy!"
"Why would you do that?!"
"Mrs. Black why did you cut your hair?"
me -"I like it this way."
"Man, you must be on crack!"
"Mrs. Black, you look like a boy now!"
me sarcastically - "Thank you."
"Why do you think that's a compliment?"
me - "I'm trying not to respond rudely."
(This boy had a particularly hard time and we had this conversation every day for a week.)
These comments have gradually subsided and thankfully, I don't base my self-confidence on the opinions of 8 year-olds.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Comic Relief
For your reading enjoyment and end-of-semester stress relief, here's some more great stories from work. I love working with kids.
Squishy
A month or so ago the smartest kid in the second grade came up to me at recess and informed me that there was something squishy in the grass. Seeing that he was obviously quite concerned about this, I asked him to show me what it was. My first thought was that it would be some small maimed rodent and I was steeling myself for something gruesome. As we approached the spot, he began examining the ground very carefully. When at last he pointed to the ground I came over to investigate more closely. "Nathan*," I said, "that's dog poop. Don't step in it." Keep in mind that this literally is the smartest kid in the second grade.
Yeah
I was chastised by a third grader for saying "yeah" because apparently it is the lazy way of saying "yes."
Pictures
I recently got an assignment at school with a kindergarten class. I help a boy who comes from a rough background learn what is appropriate behavior for school and basically just be his friend. I love it. Anyway, he was drawing a picture the other day and, noticing that it looked a lot like a picture he'd drawn of himself the day before (you know, big circle for a head with arms and legs that come directly out of the head) I asked if he was drawing a picture of himself. "No," he replied, "that's a dinosaur." Of course, silly me.
Rain
As I was "lifeguarding" (for some reason, the kids on the playground call me 'lifeguard') at recess one day, it started to sprinkle. One of my second-graders came up to me and told me that when it rains, it means that Jesus is crying. I asked her why she thought that He was crying. She said that it was probably because He was sad because people smoke.
Big Belly
I was reading a Sponge Bob book to one of the kindergarteners in the after-school program. In the story, Sponge Bob eats a lot of food and gets sick, but in the picture his belly also gets rather large. In my attempts to help this boy enjoy the story and improve his comprehension, I was trying to help him examine the pictures in the book. "Why does Sponge Bob have a big belly in this picture?" I asked. He immediately yelled out, "because he's going to have a baby!"
*as always, the names of the students have been changed.
Squishy
A month or so ago the smartest kid in the second grade came up to me at recess and informed me that there was something squishy in the grass. Seeing that he was obviously quite concerned about this, I asked him to show me what it was. My first thought was that it would be some small maimed rodent and I was steeling myself for something gruesome. As we approached the spot, he began examining the ground very carefully. When at last he pointed to the ground I came over to investigate more closely. "Nathan*," I said, "that's dog poop. Don't step in it." Keep in mind that this literally is the smartest kid in the second grade.
Yeah
I was chastised by a third grader for saying "yeah" because apparently it is the lazy way of saying "yes."
Pictures
I recently got an assignment at school with a kindergarten class. I help a boy who comes from a rough background learn what is appropriate behavior for school and basically just be his friend. I love it. Anyway, he was drawing a picture the other day and, noticing that it looked a lot like a picture he'd drawn of himself the day before (you know, big circle for a head with arms and legs that come directly out of the head) I asked if he was drawing a picture of himself. "No," he replied, "that's a dinosaur." Of course, silly me.
Rain
As I was "lifeguarding" (for some reason, the kids on the playground call me 'lifeguard') at recess one day, it started to sprinkle. One of my second-graders came up to me and told me that when it rains, it means that Jesus is crying. I asked her why she thought that He was crying. She said that it was probably because He was sad because people smoke.
Big Belly
I was reading a Sponge Bob book to one of the kindergarteners in the after-school program. In the story, Sponge Bob eats a lot of food and gets sick, but in the picture his belly also gets rather large. In my attempts to help this boy enjoy the story and improve his comprehension, I was trying to help him examine the pictures in the book. "Why does Sponge Bob have a big belly in this picture?" I asked. He immediately yelled out, "because he's going to have a baby!"
*as always, the names of the students have been changed.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Microorganisms and Band-aids
For the last month I have been working as a second grade tutor at an elementary school and I have been really enjoying it. I have a degree in Therapeutic Recreation and (as of Thursday morning when I passed the exam that I just spent the last four weeks studying for) I am nationally certified to practice as a CTRS - a Certified Therapeutic Recreation Specialist - according to the National Council for Therapeutic Recreation Certification. My job has absolutely nothing to do with my degree, however I still enjoy it immensely. So, until further notice I will press on with tutoring second graders. One of the benefits of this job is that I get to work with second graders and they are hilarious. Here are two of my favorite stories from this last week:
Everyday at school I supervise lunch recess, which since it is not in a structured classroom setting is where most of my funny stories come from. Kids run around like crazy and tattle on each other and I make sure they don't kill each other. I have to wear an enormous orange hunting vest so that I'm readily recognizable and easy to locate - as if being one of two adults on the playground doesn't clear that up.
While I was supervising recess the other day a cute little first-grade boy comes up and gets my attention. "Do you know that..." he says, and I start wondering who he is going to tattle on. Usually sentences that start with "Do you know that..." end with "so-and-so is climbing up the slide?" But he continues with, "there are microorganisms over in a mush spot on the soccer field?" Quite surprised, I said that I did not know that and asked him what they were doing. "Oh," he replied "they're just swimming around, and eating dirt." He seemed a little concerned by their presence so I told him that it was probably okay that they were there.
Wondering how a first grader even knew about microorganisms, I was just about to ask him if he'd learned that in class today when he dove off on a discussion about oceanic food chains. It involved a lot of, "and then a bigger fish comes and eats that fish..." type explanations. After which, he promptly ran away, leaving me chuckling to myself and wishing I still had the enthusiasm for learning that first graders do.
My other favorite story this week is about playground injuries. They seem to be a daily occurrence, but they're usually quite minor. In fact most of them don't even draw blood, but it seems to be the cool thing in the second grade to have a bag of ice or a band-aidto put on your battle wound. Actually band-aids seem to be a universal cure-all in the playground world. Just yesterday one of the kids came up to me and informed me that someone was hurt. I quickly followed him to the scene of the incident where I found a little girl bawling her eyes out. Naturally, I thought that something serious must have happened for it to be the source of so many tears, so I asked her what had happened and if she was hurt. She was crying so hard that she could barely speak to me, but eventually the story came out. She had hit her shin on the playground equipment, she showed me the spot so I could assess the damage. It was a little red and she had scraped of the first layer of skin, but there was no blood. Not so much as a scratch.
Now I may have a cold heart, but seeing as how this couldn't even be classified as an injury, I wasn't sure what to do with the sobbing child. I told her she would probably have a bruise, but that she would be fine. I even suggested that she get up and walk around on it and go play. This however, was only met with increased wailing, at which point I left her in the sympathetic hands of her fellow second graders.
Everyday at school I supervise lunch recess, which since it is not in a structured classroom setting is where most of my funny stories come from. Kids run around like crazy and tattle on each other and I make sure they don't kill each other. I have to wear an enormous orange hunting vest so that I'm readily recognizable and easy to locate - as if being one of two adults on the playground doesn't clear that up.
While I was supervising recess the other day a cute little first-grade boy comes up and gets my attention. "Do you know that..." he says, and I start wondering who he is going to tattle on. Usually sentences that start with "Do you know that..." end with "so-and-so is climbing up the slide?" But he continues with, "there are microorganisms over in a mush spot on the soccer field?" Quite surprised, I said that I did not know that and asked him what they were doing. "Oh," he replied "they're just swimming around, and eating dirt." He seemed a little concerned by their presence so I told him that it was probably okay that they were there.
Wondering how a first grader even knew about microorganisms, I was just about to ask him if he'd learned that in class today when he dove off on a discussion about oceanic food chains. It involved a lot of, "and then a bigger fish comes and eats that fish..." type explanations. After which, he promptly ran away, leaving me chuckling to myself and wishing I still had the enthusiasm for learning that first graders do.
My other favorite story this week is about playground injuries. They seem to be a daily occurrence, but they're usually quite minor. In fact most of them don't even draw blood, but it seems to be the cool thing in the second grade to have a bag of ice or a band-aidto put on your battle wound. Actually band-aids seem to be a universal cure-all in the playground world. Just yesterday one of the kids came up to me and informed me that someone was hurt. I quickly followed him to the scene of the incident where I found a little girl bawling her eyes out. Naturally, I thought that something serious must have happened for it to be the source of so many tears, so I asked her what had happened and if she was hurt. She was crying so hard that she could barely speak to me, but eventually the story came out. She had hit her shin on the playground equipment, she showed me the spot so I could assess the damage. It was a little red and she had scraped of the first layer of skin, but there was no blood. Not so much as a scratch.
Now I may have a cold heart, but seeing as how this couldn't even be classified as an injury, I wasn't sure what to do with the sobbing child. I told her she would probably have a bruise, but that she would be fine. I even suggested that she get up and walk around on it and go play. This however, was only met with increased wailing, at which point I left her in the sympathetic hands of her fellow second graders.
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