Comic Relief

For your reading enjoyment and end-of-semester stress relief, here's some more great stories from work. I love working with kids.

Squishy
A month or so ago the smartest kid in the second grade came up to me at recess and informed me that there was something squishy in the grass. Seeing that he was obviously quite concerned about this, I asked him to show me what it was. My first thought was that it would be some small maimed rodent and I was steeling myself for something gruesome. As we approached the spot, he began examining the ground very carefully. When at last he pointed to the ground I came over to investigate more closely. "Nathan*," I said, "that's dog poop. Don't step in it." Keep in mind that this literally is the smartest kid in the second grade.

Yeah
I was chastised by a third grader for saying "yeah" because apparently it is the lazy way of saying "yes."

Pictures
I recently got an assignment at school with a kindergarten class. I help a boy who comes from a rough background learn what is appropriate behavior for school and basically just be his friend. I love it. Anyway, he was drawing a picture the other day and, noticing that it looked a lot like a picture he'd drawn of himself the day before (you know, big circle for a head with arms and legs that come directly out of the head) I asked if he was drawing a picture of himself. "No," he replied, "that's a dinosaur." Of course, silly me.

Rain
As I was "lifeguarding" (for some reason, the kids on the playground call me 'lifeguard') at recess one day, it started to sprinkle. One of my second-graders came up to me and told me that when it rains, it means that Jesus is crying. I asked her why she thought that He was crying. She said that it was probably because He was sad because people smoke.

Big Belly
I was reading a Sponge Bob book to one of the kindergarteners in the after-school program. In the story, Sponge Bob eats a lot of food and gets sick, but in the picture his belly also gets rather large. In my attempts to help this boy enjoy the story and improve his comprehension, I was trying to help him examine the pictures in the book. "Why does Sponge Bob have a big belly in this picture?" I asked. He immediately yelled out, "because he's going to have a baby!"


*as always, the names of the students have been changed.